Roses Are Red. Blood Tongue is Too. Weird Food Poetry by Jimmy Ray.
Korean silk worm pupae at The Prince in Koreatown, Los Angeles.
I have a new myspace friend. His name is Jimmy Ray. Although I discovered him through myspace, Jimmy Ray is neither a minor nor a congressional page. But he did write a little poem about odd eats which I liked so much that I decided to post it here with Jimmy's permission. This is Deep End Dining's small way of supporting the arts & humanities. Hope you like it.
Strange Delicacies by J. Raymond Davis.
Around the whole wide world
there is some strange cuisine
considered by some delicacies
but to me they're quite obscene
In the Philippines they love balut
In case you didn't know
they keep the egg incubated
and then eat the duck embryo
In the deep south they love chitlins
it's crazy and most incredible
for in school I was never taught
that the alimentary canal was edible
In Mexico they eat menudo
while the sun is bright and shining
what is this tripe, you have to ask
it's merely stomach lining
In China there is a restaurant
they serve penis when you've sat
cold, raw, sliced and pickled
what the fuck is up with that!!!!?
What of a dish known as Haggis
your gorge will rise without fail
It is the stomach of a sheep
stuffed with organs and entrails.
How about some nice sweetbread?
not what the name makes you hope
It's a fatty chunk of horror
a gland in a calf's throat
From Rocky Mountain Oysters
to a simmering kidney pie
pancreas and simmered spleen
I want to scream out...WHY?!
Battered brains and lymph nodes
raw eyeballs and head cheese
chicken feet and a cow's tongue
someone stop the madness please!
From the Cream of Sum Yung Gai
to tree bark and urine smoothies
all I ask is that you please try
to be a little freakin' choosy!
So when they serve up the dogs (not hotdogs!)
and overpriced, jellied fish eggs
I will stick with a plain hamburger
or a nice big fat juicy steak!
copyright 2006,9 j raymond davis
NOTE: For those you think I am squeamish, you have not seen me dine on raw oysters...for those who like to eat ungodly creations, I am including a recipe for Haggis just for you. If you actually prepare and eat it...then you are sick my friend. Seek professional help immediately, as well as a good dietician.
HAGGIS (even the name sounds ungodly!)
* 1 sheep's lung (illegal in the U.S.; may be omitted if not available)
* 1 sheep's stomach
* 1 sheep heart
* 1 sheep liver
* 1/2 lb fresh suet (kidney leaf fat is preferred)
* 3/4 cup oatmeal (the ground type, NOT the Quaker Oats type!)
* 3 onions, finely chopped
* 1 teaspoon salt
* 1 teaspoon freshly ground pepper
* 1/2 teaspoon cayenne
* 1/2 teaspoon nutmeg
* 3/4 cup stock
Wash lungs and stomach well, rub with salt and rinse. Remove membranes and excess fat. Soak in cold salted water for several hours. Turn stomach inside out for stuffing.
Cover heart and liver with cold water. Bring to a boil, reduce heat, cover and simmer for 30 minutes. Chop heart and coarsely grate liver. Toast oatmeal in a skillet on top of the stove, stirring frequently, until golden. Combine all ingredients and mix well. Loosely pack mixture into stomach, about two-thirds full. Remember, oatmeal expands in cooking.
Press any air out of stomach and truss securely. Put into boiling water to cover. Simmer for 3 hours, uncovered, adding more water as needed to maintain water level. Prick stomach several times with a sharp needle when it begins to swell; this keeps the bag from bursting. Place on a hot platter, removing trussing strings. Serve with a spoon. Ceremoniously served with "neeps, tatties and nips" -- mashed turnips, mashed potatoes, nips of whiskey.
You are invited to peruse more of Jimmy Ray's poetry at his myspace blog. Thank you.