Daring. Different. Delicious. There’s high end dining. There’s low end dining. And then there’s everything else in between. We’d like to introduce you to another level - Deep End Dining. We are diners dedicated to seeking and devouring the food uncommon, cuisine exotic and entrees less ordered. Have an open appetite and get ready to take the plunge into...the Deep End.
Behind the scenes at Bizarre Foods while shooting at Ford's Filling Station.
Bizarre Foods fans, Andrew Zimmern is in town shooting the Los Angeles episode of his number one rated Travel Channel show.
I was bestowed the bizarre honor of being Andrew Zimmern's—or the AZ, as I like to call him—dining companion for a day. We devoured a freakish feast at Ford's Filling Station, sampled a sordid selection of strange sorbets and ice creams at Scoops then finally binged on bugs at Typhoon.
You would not believe what Andrew and I put in our mouths. Or maybe you would. Details to come.
I promise I won’t make any idiotic, ass-inine poo-poo jokes in this article about civet cat crap coffee, better known as kopi luwak. Oopsie-poopsie, I already broke my promise! Poops! I did it again!
You can’t blame me. I mean, c’mon, I recently ingested coffee that was made from beans that came out of a civet cat’s ass. In case you missed that I’ll say it again — I drank coffee made from beans that a civet cat shat. Plus, I’m really immature. Plus, it’s just really fun to crack ca-ca jokes about this coffee all day long. Hey, I have earned this right (if you can call it that). I drank kopi luwak and all I got was this souvenir mug!
Definitely Not Available at Starbucks.
As far as shitty coffee is concerned, I’ve drunk loads of it in my day. I’ve gulped down my fair share of instant coffee with powder creamer and sugar substitute in a Styrofoam cup. Everything about that cup of joe was fake including the drinker — me. I was living in Hollywood at the time and at the height of my shallowness. Those were the daze.
However, some of this shitty coffee I drank out of economic necessity because I was broke. I drank the coffee at my mechanic’s shop because—that’s right—it was free. I wasn’t even there for an oil change. Used 10W40 could’ve been gurgling in that coffee pot for all I knew but I wouldn’t have cared. I had absolutely no standards for my morning mug other than the price tag, that is, no price. And as the old saying goes: Beggars can’t be Venti Caramel Frappuccino drinkers.
But that was then and this is now. Beggars still can’t be fancy coffee drinkers, but if you’re an exotic food writer and don’t mind shitty coffee like me, you might be offered a $65 cup of kopi luwak for free.
What is kopi luwak? It’s the ultimate shitty coffee and the most expensive one to boot. Kopi luwak is a variety of coffee bean that literally is excrement from an Indonesian civet that the locals call a “luwak”. Indonesians call coffee “kopi”. Coffee from this animal is called “kopi luwak”. Simple as shit, right?
Just because I have no standards when it comes to coffee doesn’t mean that the little luwak kitty has none. Quite the opposite, the luwak is a fussy connoisseur of the coffee berry. It only chows down on the sweetest coffee berries it can find, and that sweetness, my friends, is passed on to the end user. I shit you not...but the civet cat will.
What else makes this coffee special beyond the sweet-ass beans is the special “processing” by the “manufacturer” with a unique fermentation process in the animal’s GI tract since the beans can't really be digested, kinda like corn kernals for people sometimes. Weirdly and nicely, my kopi luwak was paired with a small dish of pan-fried and salted peanuts. Peanuts? Dude, where're the doughnuts? But, you know, peanuts were surprisingly effective in bringing out the sweet side of the kopi. Salty and sweet. Yin and yang. I'm starting to get how the genius flows up in this coffee hizzy. Still, I was sniffing around for a maple bar doughnut. How 'bout just a doughnut hole?
As you can imagine, this sort of coffee is extremely rare and therefore ass-tronomically priced—it will lighten your wallet by about $65 per cup or $600 per pound.
There are soooo many questions that went through my head as I sipped on this caffeinated oddity, like: If coffee is considered a form of laxative, then what is kopi luwak considered? Redundant? Or, who was the first person to decide that this beverage was suitable for human consumption? And, how did this inspired decision come about? Was it a “happy” accident? Did his coffee bean fall into its feces like a foul Reese's Peanut Butter Cup fumble? And, finally, am I really going to drink this crap? Well, of course I am, but how’s it going to taste?
Honestly, it was the best cup of coffee I’ve ever had. Like a mad scientist behind the coffee counter, J.C. Ho, owner and proprietor of Funnel Mill Rare Coffee and Tea, skillfully and precisely brewed this cup of kopi luwak making it rich and dynamic with sweet, bold and earthy tones. No ass aftertaste whatsoever. I even drank this cup of kopi black—like a real man. No cream. No sugar. Black as the hole it came from and I never take my coffee that way. It was extra smooth and quite delicious with a buzz so pure it seemed illicit. Now, I wouldn’t pay $65 a cup for it but I wouldn’t pay $150 a bottle for Dom Pérignon either. And I’d consider both of these beverages very good shit. I’m not a broke ass anymore but I guess I’m still a cheap ass.
Check out the video and the next time you’re at a Starbucks, ask for a tall kopi luwak and watch your barista lose his latté. Word to the turd.
Funnel Mill Rare Coffee and Tea 930 Broadway, Suite A Santa Monica, CA 90401 Ph: 310.597.4395 Funnel Mill website
My mom used to make me eat everything on my plate before I was allowed to leave the table. And when I say everything I mean EVERYTHING. The fact is she was concerned about all the starving kids in China (It was the '70s). The other fact is she created a monster. To this very day, I crack open my Zankou chicken bones and suck the marrow out of them like a 5th grader inhales a cherry Slurpee inflicting brain freeze on himself.
So I knew I'd feel right at home at Ben Ford's "Head to Tail" dinner at his restaurant Ford's Filling Station — well, I'd feel right at home except without the screaming Chinese mother with the broken English — because Chef Ford promised nothing would go to waste. He strived to use the whole animal in his cooking. Mom would just love him and want to pinch his cheeks.
Chef Ben Ford along with Chef Neal Fraser (Grace, BLD) and San Francisco's Chef Nate Appleman (A16, SPQR) conspired an exciting evening of eating complete with odd cuts and the little used in the meat world. Representin' on the menu were nasty yet tasty bits like lardo, headcheese, random rabbit parts, tongue and cockscomb. All the dishes were (mostly) executed nicely with the exception of the roasted hen in the cockscomb au jus — too dry.
However, what this Deep End Diner was really dying to know was what was on this exotic evening's dessert menu. Would chilled monkey brains be ceremoniously served to every guest? Extra whipped cream on my chimp head, please.
Harrison, you know, Ben's dad, was also present and indulged in this exotic dinner. I asked him (off camera) if chilled monkey brains were going to be brought out for dessert because I was really hankering for some. He just laughed. Very nice guy. I shook his hand and told him how exciting the meal was. He expressed how proud he was of his son Ben. Can't wait to see the new Indiana Jones movie.
This evening is one in a series of lecture dinners hosted at Ford's Filling Station. You can experience most of the lecture and some of the evening's offal offerings in the video below. Find out what Chef Ben Ford really thinks about jellyfish too.
With Ben Ford's "Head to Tail" menu, the odds are definitely in your favor if the odd parts are what you fancy.
Ford's Filling Station 9531 Culver Blvd. Culver City, CA 90232 ph: 310.202.1470
Learn about Evan Kleiman’s special diet — the Deep End Dining Diet. It’s simple. Whenever she gets hungry, she puts me on the show and then completely loses her appetite. So far she’s lost 40 pounds in just two shows.
Find out if Lebanese lamb fries and beef brain help her lose more pounds and all desire to eat.
Listen to KCRW 89.9 FM in Southern California or online at KCRW.COM this Saturday, April 12, 2008 at 11AM Pacific Time.
