Why Are There So Many Asian Dim Sum Cart Drivers? A Burning Question for the New Decade.
Push it! Push it real good!
While supping at one of my favorite dim sum parlors around town, I couldn't help but notice, between nibbles of my phoenix talon, that all, I mean, ALL of the people pushing those stainless steel dim sum carts were Asian! Has anyone else noticed this? I can't be the only one, right?
It was absolutely baffling at first and then simply mindblowing. The experience was akin to taking that red pill in the sci-fi flick The Matrix, my perception of the dim sum world was totally rocked off its foundation. There was no turning back, I was down the dim sum rabbit hole.
To confirm what every fiber of my being was experiencing, I inconspicuously took a tally of each dim sum cart driver as they cruised by.
Here is my count:
Steam Chinese broccoli cart - Asian
Har gow/shu mai cart - Asian
Har gow/shu mai cart #2 - Asian
Jook cart - Asian
Offals cart - Asian
Misc. dumplings that aren't as popular as the har gow & shu mai cart - Asian
Dessert cart - Asian
Person walking around trying to unload egg rolls onto White customers - Asian
Shivers went up and down my spine. Hairs on my hairless Asian back were raised as much as Asianly possible! Each and EVERY one of these workers were Asian! It was totally overwhelming. So I ordered another taro boba to calm my frazzled nerves.
And, my friends, not only were all of these dim sum cart drivers Asian but they were FEMALE too! I shit you not! I know this may be too much reality to handle at one reading. If you need to take a break, do so now. Otherwise, just know that this has been happening under our collective noses for some significant period of time and I don't think anyone ever realized it.
Why is this happening you ask? Who the hell knows?! However, I shall try to tackle this issue once and for all!
1) Theory A: Maybe, just maybe, Asian women like pushing shiny metal carts. Why? Because they're shiny and they're fun to push. Perphaps my strongest hypothesis, which is why I led off with it.
2) Theory B: Perhaps Asian women can't get jobs at McDonald's or Denny's? Or, with direct correlation to Theory A, McDonald's and Denny's don't have shiny metal carts to push so the Asian women don't want to work at said restaurants.
3) Theory C: Asian women can handle rejection better than blacks, Hispanics or Caucasians. Ever turn down a dim sum lady when she offers you soy sauce pig intestines? You know how many times a day that woman has to hear "No! Get that nastiness out of my face!", in several different Chinese dialects and English, no less? It can't be easy, and you need skin as thick as chicharrones. Asian women can hack hearing "no" all day long. It's in their DNA but not other races. (There is a study to back this up but I can't seem to get the Google result I'm looking for at the moment.)
4) Theory D: I started strong, so I'm ending strong. A very good reason why most dim sum cart drivers are represented by Asian women is because they are really terrible automobile drivers. I don't need to explain to you, the erudite reader, that Asians are god awful drivers. And it's practically gospel that women in general suck at driving. But when you do the simple math and add Asian with woman, you get the perfect storm of crappy ass driver.
As a consequence, Asian women, knowing that they are really bad auto drivers, manifest their drive to drive by driving dim sum carts. It's relatively safer. A dim sum cart is much smaller and lighter and can do infinitely less damage to an innocent bystander or somebody stuffing his face with a pork bun than, say, a KIA Sorento. The world is a safer place and Asian women can get their ya-yas out by driving dim sum carts. Everyone is happy.
There you have it. My theories of why there are so many Asian (women) dim sum cart drivers. I'm pretty sure I nailed it, but if you have your own ideas, why not leave a comment. I'd like to get over 100 comments if possible, so feel free to leave several.
Oh, yeah, that photo of me, above, driving the dim sum cart, that's just my new part-time gig as the first Asian MALE dim sum cart driver. We need to start tipping the scale somewhere. But still we can do much better. Yes we can.
(This in-depth analysis inspired by this food blog post and this one too.)