Ate In Taiwan: The Burger King Konspiracy to Fatten Up the Citizens of Taiwan. The 7 Layer BK Burger. 7 Patties of Hell! Burger King Taiwan.

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7 Patties for Fatty.

I am convinced a CIA operative somewhere knows all the gory details behind this diabolical plot to keep the islanders in their place by stuffing them into submission like hogs before the slaughter.

Burger King's 7 Patty Burger, available in Taiwan, will take the fight out of anybody. The tryptophan in a 20 pound turkey has nothing on the power of BK's 7 patties of bulky beef and 7 layers of American cheese, all topped with a pile of bacon and jammed between a couple of sesame seed buns, to put an eater into a fat and protein saturated stupor.

Turning the Taiwanese citizenry fat and lazy is the goal, and this evil 7 patty BK Burger is the most efficient way to achieve it. Hamburger: it's the new opium.

This sinister story actually has its genesis in Japan, another country where the population is much too thin and therefore a threat to our national security. Beginning late October of 2009, BK and Microsoft teamed up on a cross-promotion campaign for Microsoft's new operating system Windows 7.

Naturally, the ingenious mad men cooked up a 7 patty Whopper to promote Windows 7! Get it?! 7 patty Whopper and Windows 7!!! Where's their CLIO, folks??!!

The Japanese 7 patty Whopper was only available for 7 days to the first 30 people each day.

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Godzilla vs. MegaWhopper!!

The Taiwanese 7 patty BK Burger, however, fortunately or unfortunately, was available till who knows when because I can't read Chinese. In addition, the Taiwanese version of this 7 layered burger beast wasn't a Whopper. The patties were slightly smaller than their Whopper of a counterpart, and also each patty had a slice of American cheese on top of it, with a final topping of crispy, greasy bacon.

Most importantly, this massive meat monster isn't a "secret menu" item as is with similar mutant burgers sold at In N' Out Burgers in the U.S. Therefore any Taiwanese man, woman or child can stroll up to the BK counter and easily get one.

Really this rant is hypocritical because I ended up really, really liking this BK Koronary Burger. You can say I was just another bloated victim of this CIA covert operation very likely named "Supersize Them". This post is just a warning and will self-destruct.

Check out my video documentation below in high definition dopeness!

Taiwan Burger KIng 7 Patties of Hell from Eddie Lin on Vimeo.

Comments

e d b m said…
That's nothing. They should do a 7-layer Taiwanese pork chop burger! With some fried betelnut tots on the side.
Wow is all I have to say. It's something I would order, take a picture of as it nears my mouth, then throw it away. Love the new site design!
val said…
You ate that? I guess we'll be seeing you on Man vs. Food soon. Hey, maybe we could get that deep fried...
Eddie Lin said…
dylan,

that is so true!! you obviously know taiwan food, dude!! fried betelnut tots!! you are a genius. after all, you came up with the kalbi taco before anyone else did.


gary,

in the interest of full disclosure, i trashed half of the burger. hey, i'm glad you like the new design.


val,

deep fried 7 patty burger. totally!! man v. food. not anytime soon. just like i told gary, i trashed half of the burger although i could've easily eaten the entire thing. but, we were off to eat more right after that and i had to consider my next meal.

it was a damn good burger still.

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