Vaping Foie Gras. Yeah, That's a Thing. Hipster Food Gone Too Far.

foie vape
Rare photograph of O.G. hipsters being irritating assholes.

It was cute in the beginning. You know, the "reimagining" of classic comfort foods like mac n' cheese by plating the dish as if it was a Kraft Handi Snack or deconstructing s'mores or mashing-up mochi and pretzels then renaming it with the portmanteau of "mochetzels." But, then, after so many years comes the fatigue. The fatigue transforms into perplexity. Finally, the perplexity mutates into full-blown rage against any edible thing that's allegedly "clever" or "elevated" requiring contemplation before plowing into one's meal. Just give me my food. Don't explain to me how to ingest it. Are you going to tell me what to do after I digest and expel it too, for chrissake?

So I've had it. I'm done. And this is the "innovation" that broke the camel's back and, more importantly, my back: vaping foie gras. Fatty goose or duck liver already got enough haters. We don't need to add fuel to the fire with this douchey rendition on the classic French delicacy. Vaping is, quite frankly, fucktard enough without making it canard de fucktard, know what I'm sayin'? Although, I shouldn't dis vaping too much; it did help me kick my nasty habit a while back, but still.

Also, just because it can be a good thing when used properly doesn't mean hiptards aren't deliberately exploiting the vapor-inhaling technology for evil. Inhaling foie gras is the manifestation of that evil, no doubt.

foie liquid
Foie vape in its e-juice manifestation.

These a-holes figured out—thanks to molecular gastronomy aka modernist cuisine techniques—how to liquify foie gras and add the "e-juice" droplets onto a filter for vaping. The next move they have plotted is to showcase their product at molecular gastronomy type dining temples where people pay the tab and tip online ahead of the actual dinner just for the privilege of eating at such pretentious restaurants. Eff that!! I'd rather see foie gras banned again in Cali than to have this foie vaping thing catch fire. Seriously!

You notice I'm not mentioning the names of this entrepreneurial entity or the restaurant that will be the first to tack this tacky foie vape onto its menu. No way in hell am I gonna help promote this decline of Western cuisine with any assist to these vaping jerk-offs.

But if you're really crazy curious, then here's the link. Don't tell them I sent you. I hope they choke on their goose liver smoke!