Nothing Says "I Love You" Like Giving Head! The Perfectly Unique Holiday Gift. Only at Vallarta Supermarkets.

Lowest Pig Head Prices of the Year!

Still looking for that elusive gift for the person who seemingly has everything? I mean, EVERYTHING — including the Nintendo Wii. Why not give him or her head? Gee, that didn’t come out right. How about considering the gift of a pig’s head? Hey, it’s on mega-sale this week only at Vallarta Supermarkets in Southern and Central California. At 69 cents per pound, this pork head is a true holiday deal. You’ll totally thank me later!

To really complete this heady gift, I’d recommend including a couple of recipes. This not only demonstrates that you are an ingenious gift giver but also a considerate one too.

I found this recipe blurb for pig’s head in an old New York Times piece. It’s borrowed from Elizabeth David's cookbook, Mediterranean Food, published in 1950.

This recipe is for a Greek dish named picti otherwise known as headcheese:

A pig's head is boiled for hours in water strongly flavoured with bay leaves and peppercorns. When cooked it is cut up into chunks, the juice of 3 or 4 lemons is added to the strained stock, which is poured over the brawn, arranged in large earthenware basins, and left to set. Not very elegant, but usually very good.

Okay, if that recipe is too vague or démodé, then the Crisp Roasted Pig’s Head recipe is what you’ll be stuffing down Mr. Hard-to-Buy-For’s stocking.

Crisp Roasted Pig’s Head from Innards and Other Variety Meats by Jana Allen and Margret Gin.

1 pig's head, cleaned and tongue removed
1 tspn five-spice powder
2 tbsp salt
1/2 cup oyster sauce
1/4 cup bourbon
1 cup honey, combined with 1 cup boiling water

Remove any hair on head by singeing over an open flame or plucking. Scrub well (using a vegetable brush, if desired) and then sprinkle with salt, rubbing it into the skin. Rinse well with cool water; pat dry. Remove any excess fat.

Place head in a colander in the sink and pour a kettle full of boiling water over. Let cool.

Combine the five-spice powder, salt, oyster sauce and bourbon. Slash the meat on underside of head and rub half of the spice mixture into the meat. Rub the remaining spice mixture onto the skin. Place head upright on a rack in a large baking pan. Bake at 375F for 1 1/2 hours. Lower heat to 325F and continue cooking for an additional 2 hours or until the meat is cooked through, basting the skin well every 30 minutes with the honey-water mixture. (Cooking time will depend on the size of the head.) If ears begin to brown too quickly during cooking period, wrap them with foil.

When head is done, remove to platter and garnish with watercress or coriander. Chop head into pieces and serve with sweet vegetable relish or plum sauce.

Finally, the best part — wrapping the pig’s head. It's a snap! Just pick up some ribbon or reuse any leftover from last Christmas. Tie a big bow on top of the pig’s head, gingerly place it under the tree, then sit back and watch your loved one’s face light up with pure holiday joy!

But if you secretly want one of these beauties for yourself, I can't blame you. Everyone knows it's much better to receive head than to give it.

Hurry! The big sale ends this week, just in time for last-minute shoppers! Happy Hogidays!